The mirror doesn't lie. I can see the changes in my body now when I stand in front of a mirror.
Although it has been almost two months since I posted to this blog, I have continued on track, not without some struggles through the Christmas season where emotions took hold and I found myself eating for emotional reasons.
I got through it. Although I "strayed" for about a week, I was able to pull myself around.
Weight today is 212.6 pounds.
I like it. But only for today and the next few days.
I've been setting my goals pound by pound. My next goal is 211 pounds.
One day, God willing, I will reach 145 pounds again.
Showing posts with label inspirational. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspirational. Show all posts
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Thursday, November 1, 2007
His Little Girl
Here is the story that started it all for me, two weeks ago. Hope you enjoy this!
His Little Girl
I watched her lumbering toward me, and thought, She looks so much like me. Hair color and length, her eyes are blue like mine. Is that how I will end up looking if I gain more weight?
I couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable she looked as she eased into the chair beside mine, forcing her body between the wooden arms. "Kids should be out soon. I'm Jan, " I said, using the shortened version of my actual name as I extended my hand.
"I won't forget your name then. I'm Janet!" Her eyes sparkled.
If she noticed the shocked look on my face before I covered it with a smile and some general chit-chat about my own forgetfulness when it comes to names, she didn't say anything. A few seconds later, the Sunday school class was dismissed and my daughter and I left the church.
My conversation with God, on the way to the car, went like this. Her name is Janet? Then what I've been hearing You say to me today is true.
Meet thyself in ten years, if this is the path you choose. Remember, daughter, I love you. I see a beautiful forgiven child and I will use you for ministry regardless of what you weigh. I accept you just as you are. If you want to lose weight, you must do it for yourself.
As I drove home, I pondered the meaning of what I'd heard God say to me, and I thought of the many futile attempts I've made to lose weight over the past ten years.When I posted my photo taken ten years ago on my writing site, FanStory, I also made a comment that I am no longer slim which is an understatement but it reflected my need to keep hiding behind that fence.
I've been talking to God about this problem for several weeks now. I told Him I needed help to do this, but I never expected the help to arrive in the form of self-revelation and acceptance!
I am His sparrow. I am His little girl. God doesn't care what I weigh or how I look because He loves me the same regardless. He has given me a husband who accepts me as I am and never complains about the way I look. In seven years, he has never once, not even in a heated argument, mentioned my weight. So why do I want to lose weight?
The only thing either of them, God and my husband, dislike about my weight, is how unhappy it makes me. Neither of them want me to feel this way.
On the radio this morning, I heard the song, "You're My Little Girl", by the Christian group, Go Fish. It speaks of God's love for each woman, His understanding of the pain they've experienced and His willingness to comfort that little girl inside each woman. I have posted a short sample of that song with this story.
I encourage every woman who needs to know how God feels about her to listen to this song in its entirety.
These past few months have been incredible for me. Coming to the realization that I didn't deserve the domestic violence I lived with for thirteen years, actually freed me to be able to speak out about being raped when I was nineteen to help someone else find the same hope I did.
Now I am able to stand up and say, "I'm overweight."
I asked God how I would be able to lose the extra weight after so many failed attempts.
His answer was simple. Eat Less.
The next few weeks and months are going to be interesting.
I am making a commitment to post a new photo in June 2008 showing the real Janilou. It will be my birthday present to myself for no matter what I look like by then, I know the most important truth. I am loved just as I am.
To all the wounded women reading this; You are His little girl, the one that He created and He loves you just as you are.
He understands the pain you have gone through and He cries every tear right along with you.
Let go of your pain, give it to Him and let the healing begin.
Your sister in Christ,Jan
His Little Girl
I watched her lumbering toward me, and thought, She looks so much like me. Hair color and length, her eyes are blue like mine. Is that how I will end up looking if I gain more weight?
I couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable she looked as she eased into the chair beside mine, forcing her body between the wooden arms. "Kids should be out soon. I'm Jan, " I said, using the shortened version of my actual name as I extended my hand.
"I won't forget your name then. I'm Janet!" Her eyes sparkled.
If she noticed the shocked look on my face before I covered it with a smile and some general chit-chat about my own forgetfulness when it comes to names, she didn't say anything. A few seconds later, the Sunday school class was dismissed and my daughter and I left the church.
My conversation with God, on the way to the car, went like this. Her name is Janet? Then what I've been hearing You say to me today is true.
Meet thyself in ten years, if this is the path you choose. Remember, daughter, I love you. I see a beautiful forgiven child and I will use you for ministry regardless of what you weigh. I accept you just as you are. If you want to lose weight, you must do it for yourself.
As I drove home, I pondered the meaning of what I'd heard God say to me, and I thought of the many futile attempts I've made to lose weight over the past ten years.When I posted my photo taken ten years ago on my writing site, FanStory, I also made a comment that I am no longer slim which is an understatement but it reflected my need to keep hiding behind that fence.
I've been talking to God about this problem for several weeks now. I told Him I needed help to do this, but I never expected the help to arrive in the form of self-revelation and acceptance!
I am His sparrow. I am His little girl. God doesn't care what I weigh or how I look because He loves me the same regardless. He has given me a husband who accepts me as I am and never complains about the way I look. In seven years, he has never once, not even in a heated argument, mentioned my weight. So why do I want to lose weight?
The only thing either of them, God and my husband, dislike about my weight, is how unhappy it makes me. Neither of them want me to feel this way.
On the radio this morning, I heard the song, "You're My Little Girl", by the Christian group, Go Fish. It speaks of God's love for each woman, His understanding of the pain they've experienced and His willingness to comfort that little girl inside each woman. I have posted a short sample of that song with this story.
I encourage every woman who needs to know how God feels about her to listen to this song in its entirety.
These past few months have been incredible for me. Coming to the realization that I didn't deserve the domestic violence I lived with for thirteen years, actually freed me to be able to speak out about being raped when I was nineteen to help someone else find the same hope I did.
Now I am able to stand up and say, "I'm overweight."
I asked God how I would be able to lose the extra weight after so many failed attempts.
His answer was simple. Eat Less.
The next few weeks and months are going to be interesting.
I am making a commitment to post a new photo in June 2008 showing the real Janilou. It will be my birthday present to myself for no matter what I look like by then, I know the most important truth. I am loved just as I am.
To all the wounded women reading this; You are His little girl, the one that He created and He loves you just as you are.
He understands the pain you have gone through and He cries every tear right along with you.
Let go of your pain, give it to Him and let the healing begin.
Your sister in Christ,Jan
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